I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
