No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
