I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
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