Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
