lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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