I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
