Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
