is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
