Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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