She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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