i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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