Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
