There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
