member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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