So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
