he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
