Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
