Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
