Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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