I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
