New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
this just has baby written all over it
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
