I'm drive I can fine osifer
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
