Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
