I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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