I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
