It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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