So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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