Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
