Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
