Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!

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(248): View more from Michigan

They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.

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(607): View more from New York

If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.

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(914): View more from New York

i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.

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(443): View more from Maryland

My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.

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(585): View more from New York

when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week

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(704): View more from North Carolina

After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.

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