I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
