He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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