I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
