He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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