What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
