My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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