It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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