How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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