Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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