I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
