She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
