WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
