dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
