Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
