I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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