eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
