chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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