In the future we'll all be gay
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
