I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
