Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
