We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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