I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
